My first 'ponder'. I wonder what it will be like. Probably full of words, some fun, some interesting, some long some short, some amazing, some boring probably. I need to give off the right vibe so that people know what kind of nice, calm even tempered kind of person is writing these little nuggets of gold.
So here goes. My first ponder.
Who the fuck invented roads?
OK, I know, as does anyone who has studied history at primary school level that it was the Romans. The other day in 44BC or whatever. This is how I imagine it went
Roman Dude 1- Mate, stop sitting on your arse eating stuffed door mice and get out here!
Roman Dude 2- Why my little aggressive friend?
Roman Dude 1- I've decide we're going to build something. Get Barry out the vomitorium and fetch the other fellas.
Roman Dude 2- What is it exactly we're going to build Kev?
Roman Dude 1- A road.
Roman Dude 2- And what exactly is a road Kev?
Roman Dude 1- A road, Mick, is going to be a massive long bit of beautiful fertile land, that we, you me and Barry are going to flatten, cover with a few layers of stone and travel down.
Roman Dude ( Well I can just call him Mick now can't I?) - Right, sounds really cool. Just one thing Kev. What is the point in building one of these big long stone strip things?
Kev- Well we can use them to travel down. So we can reach more place, terrorise a few more villagers and basically take over shit.
Mick- Awesome!
Kev- I know. And we can use them to transport food, building materials and people whenever we like. And maybe (looks of into distance) one day, in thousands of years, balding mid forties males can drive convertables to assert themselves down these roads. Maybe women can drive their two kids five minutes down the road to school in a big Land Rover. Maybe one day, there will be more than just one road and the people of the world will have me, you and Barry to thank for this innovation.
Mick- What's a convertable Kev?
Kev- I've no idea Mick.
Look, it's not like I've got some great beef with roads. We all love them, when was the last time we went on a journey that started in a town with no roads? Apart from the nature fondlers of this world. But one day, just for like, half an hour, I wouldn't mind if I could just have a break from trying to cross a road and just sit in a field for a bit with some throw pillows and some whale music. Alright?
So here goes. My first ponder.
Who the fuck invented roads?
OK, I know, as does anyone who has studied history at primary school level that it was the Romans. The other day in 44BC or whatever. This is how I imagine it went
Roman Dude 1- Mate, stop sitting on your arse eating stuffed door mice and get out here!
Roman Dude 2- Why my little aggressive friend?
Roman Dude 1- I've decide we're going to build something. Get Barry out the vomitorium and fetch the other fellas.
Roman Dude 2- What is it exactly we're going to build Kev?
Roman Dude 1- A road.
Roman Dude 2- And what exactly is a road Kev?
Roman Dude 1- A road, Mick, is going to be a massive long bit of beautiful fertile land, that we, you me and Barry are going to flatten, cover with a few layers of stone and travel down.
Roman Dude ( Well I can just call him Mick now can't I?) - Right, sounds really cool. Just one thing Kev. What is the point in building one of these big long stone strip things?
Kev- Well we can use them to travel down. So we can reach more place, terrorise a few more villagers and basically take over shit.
Mick- Awesome!
Kev- I know. And we can use them to transport food, building materials and people whenever we like. And maybe (looks of into distance) one day, in thousands of years, balding mid forties males can drive convertables to assert themselves down these roads. Maybe women can drive their two kids five minutes down the road to school in a big Land Rover. Maybe one day, there will be more than just one road and the people of the world will have me, you and Barry to thank for this innovation.
Mick- What's a convertable Kev?
Kev- I've no idea Mick.
Look, it's not like I've got some great beef with roads. We all love them, when was the last time we went on a journey that started in a town with no roads? Apart from the nature fondlers of this world. But one day, just for like, half an hour, I wouldn't mind if I could just have a break from trying to cross a road and just sit in a field for a bit with some throw pillows and some whale music. Alright?
